TS-9.3

00 teachwire.net/secondar y ITEM 1 Going round the bend... The continuing issue of student toilets being used as everything from Year 8 war rooms to whole-school illicit gambling dens has led to this meeting being called, in an attempt to curtail the usage of the toilets as anything but toilets. And to sort out the smell. GL: So, does anyone have any ideas as to what can be done? BN: Have you tried burning them with fire? It might be the only way. GL: Right. So, does anyone have any ideas that don’t involve setting light to school property? There was a significantly long pause. RR: If you mean to tackle this place’s version of a prohibition speakeasy, then I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – MONITOR THE USAGE IN LESSON TIMES. GL: But we can’t ask teachers to remove themselves from lessons to… BN RR and CL (very loudly, in unison): TEACHERS?! Last Meeting's Minutes GL: Err… RR: The idea would be for non- timetabled SLT to man the toilets during lesson time, not teachers, since they would be doing that … thing. What do you call it now… CL: Teaching. RR: Aye, yes, that’s the one. Teaching . As the teachers will be teaching, and the leadership team will mostly be doing that … other thing, what’s it called... CL: Not teaching. RR: Yes, that. So as they’re not teaching, they can be on loo duty. BN: ‘Loo-ty!’ You could call it ‘loo-ty’. Heh. GL: Yes, well, thanks for that. It might be an idea to start a rota. I’m not sure the school could take the fallout from another incident like that time the kids discovered that Lukaz Pierce had been dealing from a stacked deck in the third cubicle. Toilets Present: GL - (deputy vice principal), BN, RR, CL Meeting held in: Science Room 3 (as it’s the room positioned furthest from the maths department’s ‘bogs of eternal stench’)... 11 “You can actually smell it over the Lynx” teachwire.net/secondary CL: Never thought he had it in him, to be honest. His maths skills always seemed pretty much non-existent. ITEM 2 Smells like teen spirit The more pressing matter of the smell then came up – much like the bile in the throat of anyone in school unfortunate enough to walk past the maths block toilets, where even the hardest of gamblers fear to tread. RR: I’m not trying to exaggerate here, but as unbelievable as it sounds, you can actually smell it over the Lynx. CL: I know! Unprecedented stuff, right? But unless something’s done, we’re going to have to start seriously considering the fire thing. BN (sotto voice): Yessss ... GL: We’ll figure it out, but until then, I’ll redirect part of the estates budget into tripling our air freshener stock. So that’s basically our estates budget. RR: Do it. For the love of all that’s holy, do it. I’ll take a pay cut, if needs be. CL: Me and all. BN: ‘Loo-ty’. Hurrr. AOB The process of sourcing many, many industrial-strength air fresheners. MEETING ADJOURNED To find an alternative route out of school that takes us nowhere near the maths block.